Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Two Burning Questions

We will finish our course in sex education tomorrow, but in the meantime two issues of great importance have come to light.

Number One: I was recently introduced to cave-aged Gouda, a cheese both incredibly delicious and ridiculously expensive. It comes in two types, one aged three years, and one aged five years. It's the same cheese, just aged longer and priced even higher in the latter case. Why is it that a cheese that can survive all those years in a cave, and then survive for God knows how long in the grocery store, begins to rot the second I place it in the climate-controlled cave-like environment that is my refrigerator's cheese drawer? If I buy the three-year version, shouldn't I have at least two years before it begins to spoil?

Number Two: What is the show dog world's love of poodles all about? I've been watching Westminster for about 20 years, and pretty much each year at least one poodle is deemed "Best in Group." Because poodles compete in both the non-sporting and toy groups, not one but two poodles can end up fighting it out for Best in Show. Every year, more of the same: the standard poodle wins group, or the miniature poodle takes it. If that doesn't happen Monday night, then the toy poodle takes its group Tuesday. Winning Westminster always comes down to vanquishing the poodle.

What's so great about these poodles? I know, take away the haircut and you have intelligent, gentle, obedient, loyal companions, blah blah blah. What well-trained dog isn't all of the above? Brody has all of those qualities, without the haircut. Brody is a self-respecting Brittany who would not be caught dead with that ridiculous haircut. I know, the poofs are to protect the joints while hunting, or whatever. Most dogs were bred to hunt or herd, yet only poodles are groomed to look like Marie Antoinette. Why do judges keep rewarding this? The show world's embrace of the poodle represents the triumph of grooming, of style over substance. Everyone loved Uno last year because a beagle beat not one but two poodles.

Naturally, a standard poodle won the non-sporting group last night. Brody and I will be watching tonight, cheering on each and every other breed.

1 comment:

J. SPIKE ROGAN said...

Notice not just poddles but ALL dog breed from France have weird grooming styles.

The French must love degrading their dogs!

I only watched the show until the end of the Herding class. If a Pembroke Welsh Corgi is not in the running for "Best of Show" I'll watch Ren & Stimpy re-runs instead.

As for Cheese, yes it's funny old cheese is good until you buy it. The Only old cheese that seems to last is the black wax brick of Cabot Extra Sharp that is a year and a half old (before they ship it, it is often closer to two years old at the store) for like $7.

I got shreded Parmesan from the Kleins. It was good for about a month. After that it turned to tasting like blue cheese. I like Blue alot. BUT decided it tasted weird with pasta in red sauce, and opted to toss it.