Thursday, June 5, 2008

Overheard at Sweet Briar College

I've been going through more piles of old papers, and I found the following. These are real quotes said by real people at my alma mater sometime between fall, 1984 and May, 1985. I can't believe I survived.

When you hang around with women, you kind of degrade yourself.
- Ross Dabney, Professor of English

But black people here seem so happy - they're always singing and dancing.
- Amy Graves, Class of 1988

I think people in the outside community are sort of envious of us. I mean, they'll spend their lives in places like a grocery story and we've got the chance to be bankers or something.
- Page Franson, Class of 1987

The Hebrew Profits
- course title from January, 1985 Continuing Studies Catalogue

Do the gay people on campus have any distinguishing characteristics?
- Amy Graves, Class of 1988

There's no need for women's studies here, we already do plenty of that. Why, I always teach Hamlet from Ophelia's point of view.
- Ralph Dabney, Professor of English
But Ross, it wasn't written from Ophelia's point of view.
- Nenah Fry, President of the College

I had always suspected Cyndi Lauper was a feminist.
- Elizabeth Baer, Assistant Dean

We have enough women here already. Why study them?
- Jean Jenkins, Class of 1986

I've never met a real atheist before. Let's discuss it sometime - over tea, perhaps?
- Maggie Fogarty, Class of 1987

History changes a lot.
- Bella Abzug, guest speaker

I enjoy going to Washington and Lee and degrading myself. So what?
- Joan Collins, Class of 1985

I'm voting for Reagan because I don't believe in women's rights.
- Stephanie Hardin, Class of 1987

Which world war was with the Germans?
- Nancy McMullen, Class of 1985

I love money. I'm going to marry someone who has a lot of it.
- Lewis Lagrone, Class of 1985

I hate Milton. He's an asshole.
- Lewis Lagrone, Class of 1985

You know Latin pretty well. You should go to Latin America and speak it.
- Lenetta Archard, Class of 1985

For Black History Month I want to interview some blacks from Amherst to find out what it was like to be alive during slavery.
- Maggie Fogarty, Class of 1987

I can't break down the comprehensive fee but I can tell you this: part of it goes for board, and all the rest, except for the part that goes to the rooms, goes to tuition.
- Peter V. Daniel, Vice-President and Treasurer

Why does everyone make such a big deal out of Soviet jewelery?
- Nancy McMullen, Class of 1985

4 comments:

tunsie said...

be thankful one week before thankgiving u were not born a turkey...... man with one chop stick will lose weight......no boyfriend is better than a bad boyfriend....to my valued customers.sometimes we'll lie 4 u,and sometimes we'll lie 2 u....this is when I nod my head and make believe I'm listening....2 my employees,the beatings will continue until morale improves.....I'd like 2 help u out,which way did u come in.....so much sushi,so little time....so much jazz,so little time....do u want me 2 round up the usual suspects,officer?.....she has STOLEN MOMENTS with her eyes...baaaaaaaaaaby.........

Anonymous said...

Is Ms. Graves part of Bush's entourage these days? I imaging she'll be voting Republcan in the upcoming presidential election.

Just Asking said...

OMG, You should have run for you life!!! Either you were paying too much attention to what others were saying or you were surrounded by a LOT of idiots. Almost like being raised by wolves. Thank God Brody has a better chance.

Denise said...

Not everyone who went to Sweet Briar or taught there was an idiot. I was a Sweet Briar graduate from the class of '75. I read the Watergate coverage in the post, supported the Young Democrats in '72 (which was tantamount to being a communist in that area then), and actually took time out during my studies to read Tolstoy and Flaubert.