Friday, May 16, 2008

A Little Something to Evelyn Wood

I've been thinking. I haven't been posting because I haven't been home much this week, but I've been thinking nonetheless. On occasion, individuals become so associated with an activity or set of actions that their name can become shorthand for that activity. This happened on the corporate level when "Xeroxing" became synonymous with photocopying. I've come up with some shorthands that I think should enter the popular lexicon; feel free to add your own to this list.

Bukowski: to become so inebriated that you cease functioning. "I Bukowskied last night and woke up this morning wearing someone else's underwear."

Hillary: to stay in a competition well beyond the point at which the competition is over. "The fact that my ex is remarrying doesn't mean that he isn't still in love with me. When he finds out how much I've Hillaried over him, he'll come back to me."

Lohan: to morph from pert post-adolescent to scary party animal seemingly overnight. "Suzy was a straight-A student until she Lohaned."

W: to have a complete inability to recognize the mess you're making of pretty much everything. "I really did a W when I took out that fourth mortgage so I could lease an SUV."

Spitzer: to profess something publicly while doing the opposite privately. "My neighbor says she's a vegan but I've seen the McDonald's bags in her trash. Spitzer!"

Michael Jackson: someone who repeatedly has plastic surgery while pretending to not have had any work done at all. "Jennifer told me she spent last month at the shore. What a Michael Jackson."

Day Lewis: to not only make a scene in pubic, but to spit while doing so. "Bob was so Bukowskied last night he Day Lewised until he was thrown out of the bar."

Henin: the opposite of Hillarying - to quit or retire while you're ahead so that you can claim to have never lost. "This list has been fun to make, so I'm calling a Henin."

1 comment:

TW said...

Hey, do you want to do a little Bukowskiing on Friday? I've been Nancy Reaganing all week, and feel like reclaiming my inner Lohan.