Thursday, December 11, 2008

Voicemail Gone Wild

For about six weeks now, each and every time I check my municipal voicemail I find a message or two from a lovely lady computer voice. She's looking for Rebecca. She tells me that if I'm not Rebecca, I should press "1." I press "1," but this doesn't stop her. It doesn't even slow her down. She asks me, again and again, to press "1" if I'm not Rebecca. She never tells me what to do if I am Rebecca. She never leaves me a number, or any specific message. So I've just started deleting her the second I hear her inhuman voice. I have no idea if this is some sort of weird voicemail spam, or what. Since I don't know what to do about it, or who Rebecca is, I just hit delete and forget about it until the next time.

Beginning yesterday, whatever virus is circulating through voicemail-land found me at home. In the past 24 hours, I've received four messages from "Kim," a lovely computer voice who sounds so much like Rebecca's friend they could be the same person. "Let me return what I bought from you on eBay," Kim begins. "This is Kim," she continues. "Let me return what I bought from you on eBay! I don't want it! Let me return what I bought from you on eBay!" She goes through this spiel three times, then disconnects. She never tells me what she bought from me on eBay, nor does she leave me her last name, phone number, or any other information. Oh, in case you were wondering, I haven't bought or sold anything on eBay for a decade now.

I'm on the Do Not Call lists, although since no one is selling anything here I'm not sure that matters. I'm assuming it's some new sort of spam where a computer randomly finds numbers and leaves cryptic and annoying messages. I just can't understand the point. To create busy signals? To fill voicemail boxes? I honestly don't understand what someone is trying to gain, since whoever is behind this is not trying to trick me into calling a 900 number or get me to inadvertently view Internet porn. It's senseless weirdness. And why is it only female computers who call me? Why don't I ever get a call from Frank, or Steve?

Maybe a couple of mainframes have had a little too much information crammed into them and are doing the computer version of drunk dialing. No matter what, the point behind all this escapes me.


tunsie said...

Is it true that if U pay a bill late.the credit agencys will brand U as a bad risk,then telemarketers will not call 2 sell thier wares? tunsie.tunsie.tunsie

Anonymous said...


Christy Yorke said...

I just want to return the computer.