Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Fine Dining

Today's Times includes a review of a restaurant in Brooklyn that has only two items on the menu: dumplings and Hawaiian shave ice. There's no reasoning behind this other than the fact that the owner likes dumplings, and spent his Hawaiian honeymoon eating shave ice. Once he returned to Brooklyn he missed shave ice, so he decided to serve it at his restaurant.

Most restaurants have a theme, or focus on a particular type of cooking. But it really doesn't have to be that way, does it? A menu can be developed any way at all. If you're going to own a restaurant, why not own one that serves only the food you want to eat? With that in mind, I decided to create a menu comprised of my favorite foods. I'd name the restaurant "Like," because it would be a place I'd like. I wouldn't have any tables. Instead, I'd have a bunch of couches and TVs; diners could eat off the coffee table while watching Big Brother, just like I do at home. Here's the menu; there are no appetizers, salads, entrees, etc., because everything comes in a dinner-sized portion just like at home, where I'm too lazy to cook more than one item for dinner:

Garlic bread
Cantonese noodle soup with wontons
Asparagus
Lobster tail
Spare ribs
Grits
Raw fresh peas
Bagels and lox
Salad greens with goat cheese and candied walnuts
Roasted capon
Twizzlers (strawberry)
Hunks of cheese with one small piece of bread
Wild rice
Ribeye steak
Dark chocolate Klondike bars
Pigs in a blanket

I feel certain this would be the most popular restaurant ever. On the other hand, maybe there's a good reason why I'm not a restauranteur.

2 comments:

tunsie said...

the best restaurant would have spinach kinishes,olives and halloumi cheese.chicken wraps with pickled turnips.seedless cucumber salad with sumac.pickles.eggs and lox.beef brisket.yum cha.morrocan sardines.spicy boneless chicken.hummous.satay pumpkin with prawns.carrots[raw or cooked].abalone.sashimi.brown rice.octopus salad.collard greens.satay endive with garlic and olive oil.fresh dandelion salad.watermelon.whole wheat thin crust pizza.jewish apple cake.carrot cake.my brothers famous blintzes.apple pie.milk shakes.turkey hot dogs.miso soup.grilled tilapia with satay vegetables.whole wheat pasta with seafood.australian apple licorice.vegemite sandwiches.maxwell house coffee.passion fruit.pad thai with prawns.you put those things on the menu and you're slammin baby.tunsie.tunsie.tunsie

Sandy said...

My restaurant would have chicken livers, sushi, lobster, stinky cheeses, wine, clams, oysters,lox, smoked whitefish and lentil soup. I'd probably do most of my dining alone.