Friday, October 17, 2008

Prescription for a Happy Weekend

There just isn't any good news, is there? Take our good friend Joe. As it turns out, his name isn't Joe and he's not, legally, a plumber. Plus he owes back taxes. Once again the moral of the story is that the last five of one's 15 minutes will be spent dealing with scandal. This morning's headlines promised that the Dow would open with a tumble, thereby ensuring that the Dow will open with a tumble. Even the leaves are sick of this horrible October and have given up, collecting dead in my yard.

There's always television to comfort us. If you think things are bad now, tune into PBS Monday night, where The American Experience Presidential biography series continues with LBJ. America hasn't been great in 2007 and 2008, but watching this will make you damn glad that it isn't 1967-1968. At least no one has yet taken to the streets and begun killing each other. Plus, we wear much cooler eyeglasses these days, and more natural fiber. We need to celebrate the little things.

If you need comfort before Monday, head out to the theater, where Oliver Stone's W can make you fondly recall the years when he was damaging only himself and not his entire country.

My main suggestion for succor in these hard times, however, would be that you do the following:

1. Buy the ugliest pumpkin in the patch, or grocery store, or parking lot, or wherever pumpkins are found.

2. Sharpen a two knifes, one as sharp as a hatchet, one as sharp as a scalpel.

3. Carve said pumpkin until it resembles Paulson, Bernaeke, or any member of the AIG board.

4. Leave the pumpkin out to rot.

Happy weekend!


Sandy said...

That's a great idea. A pumpkin effigy. Kind of the opposite of the portrait of Dorian Gray. Do you think it might make McCain reclaim some of his youth?

J. SPIKE ROGAN said...

I listen to Peter B. Collins. He is a big Liberal talker show host from the bay area. He grew up in Ohio and refrenced that he belives he knows "joe's" brother.

If it is the same family he thinks it is. Joe is a in-law of.........(drumroll please)..... the Keating's.


tunsie said...

on sunday is my girlfriends birthday.i luv u el.tunsie.tunsie.tunsie