There's so much television and so little time it's hard for me to even know where to begin. I'll start by noting that, if you're a fan of Life on Mars, either US or UK version, you'll want to know that BBC America will be running Ashes to Ashes, the UK sequel, beginning Saturday night. Sam's story is done; in the sequel, another cop finds himself in the past, this time the past of 1981. I've never seen it so I can't comment on its quality, but I do look forward to finally seeing it.
I felt iffy about Big Love in its first season, liked it a lot more in its second, and am finding the third season frankly incredible. The long hiatus caused by the writers' strike appears to have allowed the writers time to intricately plot this season, and the way various threads hinted at in the past have been brought to the fore and woven together is something to behold. If you haven't been watching there's still time to catch up via On Demand, but you better start now; only three new episodes remain. Prepare yourself emotionally before playing catch-up, though. One of my complaints about the first two seasons has been that the toll of the Hendricksons' chosen life - not just polygamy but the fact that they have chosen a life of secrets, lies, and isolation, and the way their choices effect and affect not only the adults but also the children - had not been dealt with sufficiently. The toll of all choices is dealt with again and again in this season. It's tragic in many ways, and sad, and affecting. Don't miss it.
I have no idea how or why I became addicted to Bravo's Real Housewives shows, but here we are. The OC girls have been put out to pasture for the year not a moment too soon, because the level of downright nastiness between and among them had become as hard as it was fascinating to watch, but now we're back in NYC for a second season, which is reason to rejoice. Like most of America, I spent last season laughing at Alex and Simon's quixotic quest to be something other than the pretentious wannabe poseurs that they so clearly are, but this year they have been supplanted in my affections by the Countess.
The Countess is Luann Somethingorother from Connecticut, who parlayed a minor modeling career into marriage to some minor Eurotrash Count whose family bought a title a couple of generations ago. The Countess hangs onto her title in the way only a chick from working-class Connecticut can. She insists on being called Countess Luann and presents absolutely no indication of any knowledge that the words "Countess" and "Luann" should probably never be placed next to one another. She often referes to herself in the third person, as befitting a royal. "The Countess does not drink from a bottle," she chastised the wait staff at a benefit during the season premier, and I thank her for providing me with a new catchphrase.
Countess Luann is working on a book of etiquette, because people named Luann are naturally savants in this area. In last week's episode she became angry that those attending a funraiser were talking amongst themselves as she was being introduced as a contributor to the charity in question, so she strode onto the stage and shushed the crowd. She then strode back to her seat and proceeded to talk to her tablemates while the M.C. continued with the program. She's an expert, that one.
Catch it on Bravo, Tuesdays at 10, with marathons running pretty much anytime during the week that a Top Chef marathon isn't. You will not be sorry.
Showing posts with label etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label etiquette. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2009
Friday, June 20, 2008
5 Things I've Learned This Summer
Tomorrow is the longest day of the year, which means that summer starts fading away beginning Sunday. I've always thought that the Fourth of July marks the end of summer; it's the point at which growing season ends and flowers and trees start losing their luster, the days begin to noticeably shorten, all the promise of spring is heat-blasted off. Not that there aren't some nice months ahead - there are. Already, though, I've learned some valuable lessons this summer:
1) No one thinks my dog is as adorable as do I. Some people actively don't appreciate my dog, in fact, particularly those dogless neighbors he insists on running off to visit on a daily basis. In the spirit of neighborhood peace I've fenced off part of my yard, but even so the notion that human beings who don't love my dog exist is something I've had to learn the hard way.
2) It doesn't matter if you've been immune to poison ivy for 44 years. That immunity can be lost at any time, and once you lose it you will have poison continually for the rest of the summer, if not for the rest of your life.
3) I no longer have to imagine what my neighborhood looked like thousands of years ago. It was a solid forest of oak trees, and oak trees are not benign. They've been waging war with me all spring, sending seedlings everywhere, and overnight those seedlings turn into impossibly rooted little trees. Overnight, I tell you. This is my own miniature War on Drugs in that I lose it on a daily basis.
4) Target sells something called "Peach Pear Italian Soda" under their Archer Farms label. Said Italian soda tastes really, really, dangerously good with Grey Goose. Hangover good, I'm telling you.
5) There are many fashion dos and don'ts, but only one universal rule: never wear a belt with shorts. Please, guys, it just looks stupid.
1) No one thinks my dog is as adorable as do I. Some people actively don't appreciate my dog, in fact, particularly those dogless neighbors he insists on running off to visit on a daily basis. In the spirit of neighborhood peace I've fenced off part of my yard, but even so the notion that human beings who don't love my dog exist is something I've had to learn the hard way.
2) It doesn't matter if you've been immune to poison ivy for 44 years. That immunity can be lost at any time, and once you lose it you will have poison continually for the rest of the summer, if not for the rest of your life.
3) I no longer have to imagine what my neighborhood looked like thousands of years ago. It was a solid forest of oak trees, and oak trees are not benign. They've been waging war with me all spring, sending seedlings everywhere, and overnight those seedlings turn into impossibly rooted little trees. Overnight, I tell you. This is my own miniature War on Drugs in that I lose it on a daily basis.
4) Target sells something called "Peach Pear Italian Soda" under their Archer Farms label. Said Italian soda tastes really, really, dangerously good with Grey Goose. Hangover good, I'm telling you.
5) There are many fashion dos and don'ts, but only one universal rule: never wear a belt with shorts. Please, guys, it just looks stupid.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Ask a Vanderbilt
At the thrift store yesterday, I picked up a copy of Amy Vanderbilt's Everyday Etiquette, published in 1956. The book cost a dime; the advice found therein is priceless. Here are some helpful hints to get you through the weekend.
I've been wondering about this myself
I'm writing to you for information regarding the serving of frozen foods which are packaged in foil tins. I am referring particularly to individual meat pies which are purchased and baked in foil containers. Should they be removed from the containers or served in them? Is it proper to place the baked pie, still in its foil, on the dinner plate to be eaten from the container? Would it be better to place the pie in the foil on a bread and butter plate beside the dinner plate with a serving spoon for one to serve himself? Mrs. F.E.A.
No, you do not remove the baked pies from the foil containers when you serve individual pies. Because the pies are served hot, it is easier to place them individually on dinner plates and then place the dinner plates in front of the diners. The vegetables are then passed separately.
I hope Hillary is reading this blog
Do you feel that a woman public speaker must always wear a hat? M.M.
Not necessarily. She doesn't wear one if she is in evening clothes. In many quite urban communities, where hatlessness is a matter of choice, I've seen many distinguished women speakers without hats. In very small communities, which tend to be conservative in this matter, it is probably well for the speaker to wear a hat in order to avoid criticism. It should not be the kind that will shade her face or distract the audience, however. Any arrangement of veil, flowers, or perhaps a velvet ribbon bow would be quite acceptable.
Get married, become an idiot
Like all housewives, I have occasion to write some business letters. Can you give me a simple form that I can follow and that will be more or less foolproof? Mrs. G.N.
Yes, here is the form: (what follows is a standard letter with return address in upper right, then addressee to the left - here's the body of the letter)
Gentlemen:
Will you please send me two lounging chairs as advertised in last Sunday's Times @ $25.75 each. I enclose my check.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Frank L. Lewis
Why girls didn't go wild in the 1950s
In passing a woman in a narrow corridor of a train, what should I do so that she may pass without coming into close contact with me? D.J.
You step into an empty compartment if there is one, or, if there isn't, you flatten yourself, face inward, against either wall.
WTF?
How and when is it ever "proper" to invite a doctor to our home? Mrs. M.M.
This is a delicate matter. I assume you mean your own doctor. If, on your visits to him, you find that he engages you in some social conversation each time and seems anxious to prolong the visit for this reason, it is a quite proper thing to feel him out, as it were, to see if he would be interested in a social invitation...Certainly, if he is married, you do not exclude his wife in invitations, and the invitation, when it actually is sent or given over the phone, should be directed to her.
How not to be a ho
Before my boyfriend went to Alaska, we decided to wait until he got back to marry, but, as he has been gone two years, it seems a long time. Would it be good taste if I should go to him? He is sending me money for the trip. L.VB.
It is quite proper for you to go to him. However, just in case the marriage should not take place after you arrive, you should, for his protection and your own, pay your own passage, borrowing the money for the purpose if necessary. After the marriage, he can then reimburse you and you can then repay the loan if it was necessary to make one.
I've been wondering about this myself
I'm writing to you for information regarding the serving of frozen foods which are packaged in foil tins. I am referring particularly to individual meat pies which are purchased and baked in foil containers. Should they be removed from the containers or served in them? Is it proper to place the baked pie, still in its foil, on the dinner plate to be eaten from the container? Would it be better to place the pie in the foil on a bread and butter plate beside the dinner plate with a serving spoon for one to serve himself? Mrs. F.E.A.
No, you do not remove the baked pies from the foil containers when you serve individual pies. Because the pies are served hot, it is easier to place them individually on dinner plates and then place the dinner plates in front of the diners. The vegetables are then passed separately.
I hope Hillary is reading this blog
Do you feel that a woman public speaker must always wear a hat? M.M.
Not necessarily. She doesn't wear one if she is in evening clothes. In many quite urban communities, where hatlessness is a matter of choice, I've seen many distinguished women speakers without hats. In very small communities, which tend to be conservative in this matter, it is probably well for the speaker to wear a hat in order to avoid criticism. It should not be the kind that will shade her face or distract the audience, however. Any arrangement of veil, flowers, or perhaps a velvet ribbon bow would be quite acceptable.
Get married, become an idiot
Like all housewives, I have occasion to write some business letters. Can you give me a simple form that I can follow and that will be more or less foolproof? Mrs. G.N.
Yes, here is the form: (what follows is a standard letter with return address in upper right, then addressee to the left - here's the body of the letter)
Gentlemen:
Will you please send me two lounging chairs as advertised in last Sunday's Times @ $25.75 each. I enclose my check.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Frank L. Lewis
Why girls didn't go wild in the 1950s
In passing a woman in a narrow corridor of a train, what should I do so that she may pass without coming into close contact with me? D.J.
You step into an empty compartment if there is one, or, if there isn't, you flatten yourself, face inward, against either wall.
WTF?
How and when is it ever "proper" to invite a doctor to our home? Mrs. M.M.
This is a delicate matter. I assume you mean your own doctor. If, on your visits to him, you find that he engages you in some social conversation each time and seems anxious to prolong the visit for this reason, it is a quite proper thing to feel him out, as it were, to see if he would be interested in a social invitation...Certainly, if he is married, you do not exclude his wife in invitations, and the invitation, when it actually is sent or given over the phone, should be directed to her.
How not to be a ho
Before my boyfriend went to Alaska, we decided to wait until he got back to marry, but, as he has been gone two years, it seems a long time. Would it be good taste if I should go to him? He is sending me money for the trip. L.VB.
It is quite proper for you to go to him. However, just in case the marriage should not take place after you arrive, you should, for his protection and your own, pay your own passage, borrowing the money for the purpose if necessary. After the marriage, he can then reimburse you and you can then repay the loan if it was necessary to make one.
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