Because jobs in my field are hard to find these days, I've decided my financial plan is simply to win PowerBall. It's a nice jackpot this week: $122 million if you take the cash rather than the annuity. Even after taxes, that's, well, it's enough money for the rest of my life. I bought 10 tickets, so clearly I'm going to win this thing. In spare moments, I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do with some of that money. If a check for $122 million won't burn a hole in your pocket, then nothing will.
Of course I'll buy a new car, and book a trip first-class on Emirates Air so I can experience the private sleeping compartment. That's maybe $200K, though, leaving me with an awful lot of change. I really like my current house even though it lacks a pool, so I'll re-landscape and have one put in. That still leaves me with way too much money. One advantage of spectacular wealth would be my ability to avoid winter altogether should I so choose, so I decided that I'd buy a winter house someplace warm.
Because I love mid-century modern architecture, Palm Springs seems like the most logical winter destination. Plus, I could attend the Indian Wells tennis tournament every year. So, yesterday I went onto the Palm Springs MLS to see about dropping a couple of million and helping to revive the California economy.
Can you imagine my joy when I discovered that for $3.25 million I can purchase Twin Palms, Frank Sinatra's actual house? This feels like an incredible bargain; it even comes furnished. I can't wait to have sex in Frank Sinatra's bed, or for my cat to shed in Frank Sinatra's ugly chair. My dog has a weird propensity to crap on concrete rather than grass, and Frank Sinatra's house has an amazing patio for him to defile. Twin Palm means family fun for everyone.
The drawing is tonight, so I can go pick up my check tomorrow and buy the place over the weekend. If you don't have any Labor Day plans, come fly away to Palm Springs.
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3 comments:
Listen, I'm out here in AZ where we don't have Powerball, daylight savings or celebrate MLK, Jr's birthday. Could you run to the local Wawa and pick up another ticket for me? You (and Brody) get the Karma and 90% of the winnings, promise!
Listen, I'm out here in AZ where we don't have Powerball, daylight savings or celebrate MLK, Jr's birthday. Could you run to the local Wawa and pick up another ticket for me? You (and Brody) get the Karma and 90% of the winnings, promise! PS it's only anonymous because I can't remember my account info, so for the record, and to protect my 10% ownership of the proceeds, please be advised that the comment above was posted by Ava Spanier DeGhetto. My lawyer will be handling the paperwork.
I'm pretty busy today, Ava, but if I get a chance to get you a ticket, there's no need for a lawyer - if I get you one, I'll post your numbers here before the drawing, so the world can see how honest we both are. The lack of PowerBall in AZ is undoubtedly punishment for ignoring King day, BTW. Although when I was is grad school, Virginia passively-aggressively called it "Lee-Jackson-King Day."
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